Thursday, September 30, 2010

Hail, Hail the Gang's All Here.


One day this past summer, My whole family was together for a few days.  All the cousins and my brother and sisters in the same spot.  Doesn't happen enough.  I love every single last one of these kids like they were my own.  I would do anything for them.  Sam O., Nate, Peter, Greta, Nick, Erica, James, Noah, Lily, Josh, Kate, Sam F., Gabe, Jack, Abby, Hazel, Jane, Rose, and Lizzie.  I adore you all.  I do have my favorites and you know who you are *wink wink. 
One day we were all sitting around, hanging out.  My brother was holding my sister's baby, my sister preparing food,  another swinging kids, someone was probably changing diapers and wiping away noses too, cousins all around, mostly getting along.  I said something like, "this is my heaven."  My brother looked at me and said, "I don't know if I want to go to your heaven." 

Many Ostergars ventured to Holladay for a visit too.  I'll tell what I liked most about them in another post.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Enjoying The Open

Tennis lessons summer 2010

This is where I wish I was this week:

One of these years I will be there.
I am enjoying nice coverage on the telly though.

Happy Tennis everyone. 
My favorite sport to watch and play.
Too bad I can't play anymore.

Oh and just so you know, Roger Federer has the best looking legs in the sport.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Haven't Forgotten

I still need to blog about my last two siblings.  I think about what to say ALL the time.  I am setting a goal for myself to have it done by this weekend.  I am going to try to put the blog in my brain down onto this little space of the Internet that is mine. 

Monday, August 9, 2010

Today I Feel Homesick

I miss London today.  Not the city of London itself, but the experience of London that was mine.  I weep at the the selfishness that was mine and how I miss it sometimes.  I had no one's soul to save but my own.  It is funny cause when I was in London, I was never homesick...ever.

I am missing the feelings and stirrings that came to me as part of my London experience.  Though I can't remember details like I used to, those feelings are locked away in little pockets of my heart.  Sometimes the pockets fall open and those feelings come rushing back all at once and it is overwhelming.  I can't control how I feel and I can't stop crying.  It is bad and it is wonderful.  My heart aches and leaps with joy all at the same time.  Maybe that is why it hurts today.

It was an experience that I cannot explain away in words alone.  It  was an all consuming experience.  Like a migraine headache, or giving birth, or depression, or making love.  There are not enough words to describe it, so the feelings have to.  I only know a handful of people in my life that have shared this feeling with me.  2 of them are dead.  The others are few and far between.  My heart  aches for them for them sometimes.  It was the grandest group of people. 

My London experience opened the the door to the rest of my life.  And rightly so, it closed a few as well.

As I go on, into Fall, I will close up those pockets in my heart and hold them tight.  I will wait for them to fall open again, cause they will.  But while I wait, I will use the lessons learned and the happy times I knew to get me through.  So far, I have always made it through.

What Happened to July?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sweet 16

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl.

Erica Jane Ostergar
July 22, 1994.

After 1 month of bed rest, because mom had preeclampsia, 30 hours of hard labor, 2 hours of pushing and finally a c-section she made her debut into this world.

Friday, July 9, 2010

In Honor of Our Founding Fathers

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under GOD, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

James with Congressman Matheson in DC

Noah and Lizzie at the Washington Monument

United States Capital

Noah at the White House

I love our founding fathers. They had such courage. They had faith that what they were trying to accomplish was right. They believed in God.  They prayed. I so appreciate what they sacrificed.  I love our history.  I can't imagine what so many good, honorable men and women had to go through so we could feel freedom.

I fear for the future of our country.  I pray for the leaders to be honest and make good decisions.  I don't believe much of that is going on in Washington these days.  I worry for my children.  I believe we are headed in the wrong direction.

The past few years I have been trying to educate myself on the issues of the day.  I vote. I write letters to my elected officials.  I want to be able to say that I understand and do what I can to make a difference.

And if I say anymore I will embarrass my kids like I do in the carpool,when I yell at the talk radio shows.  I can get very opinionated.